The desire to fit in.

Affiliation, the desire to fit in, is a strong force. As Seth Godin puts it in This is Marketing, it can be explained in seven words: "People like us do things like these".

Many times, though, we default into the "people like us" and the "things like these" might not be the things we seek to do.

It's tempting to see yourself as an individual and believe that your choices are your choices. But, it's the people you spend time with, the group you identify yourself as a part of, that influences your choices and behavior far more than you do.

The desire to fit in is relentless. You can fight it, but it's an uphill battle. Self-discipline alone usually isn't enough.

The alternative is to choose where you want to fit in. What is the group that you aspire to be in? Who do you want to see yourself as? Who can you spend more time with?

They don't need to be in the same block as you. Blogs, books, audiobooks, podcasts, online communities allow you to choose your tribe irrespective of where you are.

It's not an easy decision to make. But it's one decision that can make every other decision easier. Because then, the desire to fit in will work for you rather than against you.