Self-sabotage isn't just fear.
Self-sabotage mostly shows itself as fear, as a well-wisher, as someone trying to protect us.
But it's not just fear. Fear is only a part of it. The part that tries to maintain the status quo because it knows that we'll be safe if the status quo doesn't change. Fear does harm us but its intent is to keep us safe.
Self-sabotage, on the other hand, is malicious. It's a force which is cunning, which intends to harm and intentionally makes things worse. It makes us choose the wrong partner, makes us put ourselves in situations we can't get out of, makes us get addicted to one thing or the other, puts us in victim mindset and makes us doubt ourselves.
There is no good that comes from listening to self-sabotage.
The way we can learn to limit its power over us is by embracing the identity of someone who doesn't self-sabotage. It requires deliberate practice but once we start seeing ourselves as someone who doesn't self-sabotage, we change the game.
Resistance has no conscience. It will pledge anything to get a deal, then double-cross you as soon as your back is turned. If you take Resistance at its word, you deserve everything you get. Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.
Steven Pressfield, The War of Art