"It's a memory."

If you stub your toe now, you know it’s happening in the present, and you won’t try to categorize the feeling as a memory—unless you are experiencing a fear around it that seems excessive.

~ Rosamund Stone Zander, Pathways to Possibility.

But most other times, the feelings that we experience are not about the present moment. It's a memory from our past, and many times from our childhood. It's a memory of a younger self trying to keep himself or herself safe.

When we are feeling anxious or afraid, we can choose to ask, is this about this present moment or is it a memory that I am reliving. It might not solve everything but it may give us the agency to see the situation from the perspective of "the way things are" and not from the story we might be repeating.