System or exception? Every decision we make is either aligned with the system or is an exception. Yes, we have to make exceptions every now and then, but exceptions in themselves don't make a system. And don't take us too far. We can design a system with intent. Exceptions
Searching for elegance. The lack of elegance makes working on our goals tedious. We seem to be starting from scratch each time. When we find elegance though, the systems in place work almost effortlessly to take us where we seek to go. It's tempting to solve this by working hard, but
Choose your "people like us". People like us do things like these. ~ Seth Godin When we choose our people like us, we choose our things like these. The group we identify ourselves as a part of will influence us to do things that the group does. Yes, we can use willpower to do things separate
Strategy, instead of resolutions. Resolutions are short term and dependent on willpower. Most resolutions don't last a few weeks into the new year. Strategy, instead, is a philosophy of becoming. It invites us to see the systems that we are building or engaging with, games we might play, empathy for the people
Working on the story. As we are coming close to the end of the year, it provides a good opportunity to write and work on the story we tell ourselves about ourselves. Seth's blog below is a great place to start. Find a friend who'd like to do the exercise
Thank you. Today's my birthday. The last one year of my life has been one of the happiest one so far. In no small part because of you. Thank you.
Embracing the uncertainty between. We think we fear the rejection, the "no". What we resist though is the uncertainty between creating tension and getting an answer. You may have felt it when you asked someone out for a date or shared an idea with your boss or planned a trip with your
Skill or luck? Some games are skill games, like chess. Some games are luck games, like picking the higher card from a shuffled deck. Most games, however, are somewhere in the middle. When we focus only on the luck aspect, we lose the opportunity of building the skill, the only place we have
Embracing uncertainty. Uncertainty is a difficult pill to swallow. For the hunter-gatherers, uncertainty mostly meant a potential lethal attack by a predator. Over time, this fear has evolved into a desire to seek certainty everywhere. What this leads to is that we make assertions and if they are wrong we are afraid
Shipping takes much less time than deciding. Instead of choosign A or B, many times both A & B in most cases is much more faster than just keep deciding. Resistance wants to keep us in deciding mode. Shipping breaks its hold.
There are multiple money games. We can choose the game we want to play. Some money games can help in the short run but don’t become better over time. They pay too little for too much work/emotional labour. Working in a McDonalds can help a student get enough to pay his expenses but
Money is a game. And like with any game there are rules. You can’t win a game if you don’t know the rules or are not willing to accept them.
The kind assumption. If someone cuts us across on the road, it's justified to feel angry. But if someone tells us that this person was rushing to take someone to the hospital, we are able to empathise and our anger vanishes. Our default assumption is mostly not kind either to the
Getting out of the rut. The expectation to jump directly into our best selves or routines keeps us stuck in the rut. When we are in the hole, the first thing we need to stop digging. And then we have to focus on figuring out a way to get out of the hole. And only
Hustle is overrated. And elegance is underrated. It’s much more effective to say no to things (or people) that are not aligned with where you seek to go than trying to convince them to go there. When we make better choices, we don’t need to hustle.
What would Dory do? In the movie Finding Dory, the characters use this mantra to get out of the troublesome situation they are in. We all know people in our life we get inspired by, people who seem to be able to act with courage in the face of challenges, people who seam to
The skill of reaching out. Make the message warm, concise and easier to read and reply. Write to someone as if you were talking to them in person. Give them an easy way to say no without feeling weird. Make the ask specific, small and simple. Don’t bet everything on a single reach out.
Getting comfortable with discomfort. Taking an initiative, doing the emotional labour to make something happen that will change things for someone else, is not just about doing it right. Because it never feels right. It creates tension and tension feels like discomfort. There is a choice. Either, we can run from this discomfort or
Change, tension and status. Change doesn’t happen because it makes sense. It happens when there is tension. And tension is mostly related to losing or gaining status.
Letting most things be. We can’t change everything but we can change something. It’s easier though to get agitated with almost everything that doesn’t seem to be the way we want it to be. That’s a place to hide as it makes us believe that we can’t change anything.
Toddler mode. A toddler doesn't care much about anything else but getting the thing it wants. And as soon as it gets it, it wants something else. Most times when we get obsessed with an idea, or a project or a person, it's because that toddler part of
Contrary opinions. For some people, giving a contrary opinion is a way to garner attention. It doesn’t matter if their opinion is right or not. When we engage with them, we are likely to waste our valuable time and attention. Ignoring is a skill and sometimes letting people have their opinion
It's not that bad. It's not that good either. Our perception is a master at fooling us. It rarely shows things as grey, the way they usually are.
One too many. You can eat one too many pizza slices or watch one too many episodes. But you can't read one too many books or do one too many workouts.
The thing that's stopping you. You may think it’s resistance or self-doubt or perfectionism. You may think it’s the task or the challenge or the people involved. You may be right. But behind all of this, it's the status and the story you are telling yourself about the status that might
